A Doughnut Shop Opening in New York is a Huge Canadian Story

We’re back.

We couldn’t resist this one.

Tim Hortons has taken Manhattan.

The once-again Canadian company has expanded into New York City.

And Canadians couldn’t be more proud. Newspapers and television programs presented the news as if it were a successful Canadian invasion. And, in a way, it was. Not since the War of 1812 have Canadians felt so proud and victorious when entering the United States.

Maybe now Americans won’t give us strange looks and point us to a basketball court when we ask for a “double-double.”

Tim Hortons is an icon in Canada and, in a world where American companies have invaded almost every aspect of Canadian life, Tim Hortons opening in New York City represents a rare victory for Canadians.

In fact, if Canada really wants to claim victory over New York here’s a simple plan they could use: After about six months they should suddenly close all of the Timmies in NYC. By that point New Yorkers will be hopelessly addicted to the coffee and fatty treats. Suddenly taking it all away will weaken them severely. That’s when the Canadians can strike.

Tim Hortons: the first shot in the war against America.

It sounds good, doesn’t it?

Of course, it will be hard for Canadians to fight while they’re full of Timbits.

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