How to Spot a Canadian

Tracking down Canadians one toque at a time.

About this Site...

Canadians are a tricky people to distinguish. They are often able to blend into a society and appear to be American, British, French or any other number of nationalities. This site will provide you with some tips and tricks to help you recognize a Canadian no matter where you are.

 

This site is for entertainment purposes only. "How to Spot a Canadian" is filled with humour, satire, hyperbole, parody and sarcasm. All statements here should be taken with a grain of salt or a bottle of maple syrup, whatever the case may be.

Hockey is Like Everything... Really

One common Canadian stereotype is that all Canadians like hockey. Obviously that's not true. There are probably some Canadians out there somewhere who don't like hockey, just like there are probably some Americans who don't like college football. However, these people are very difficult to find and even if we did find them, we wouldn't want to get to know them. Who do they think they are anyway, refusing to give in to a stereotype?

The good news is that you don't even need to worry about finding these Canadians at all. Canadian hockey fans more than overcompensate for those who don't enjoy the sport. And when we say "overcompensate" we mean "go freakin' nuts whenever hockey is discussed at any level."

No where is ludicrous display of obsession more obvious than when Team Canada plays in a tournament. Any tournament. "Team Canada" is a truly uniting force in this country. Sure, Canadian hockey fans spend most of their time fighting out brutal rivalries between Montreal and Toronto, Calgary and Edmonton and Vancouver and not burning stuff after a loss, but international hockey is different. These tournaments allow Canadians to get together and join in a united front.

They allow the people of Canada the chance to wave their flags and paint their faces and sing the national anthem in true drunken glory. Normally Canadians shy away from being patriotic, but not when international hockey is concerned. When it comes to hockey, Canadians are willing to do anything to support the team.

But they don't just offer support. You see, when you're "Team Canada" you're expected to win. That guy who painted his body to look like a Canadian flag isn't hoping for a good showing or a competitive run that comes close to victory. He wants his team to win. He wants to celebrate over the battered bodies of his enemies with an unhealthy dose of poutine, Canadian beer and showmanship.

That means that every single aspect of any team representing Canada is analyzed extensively. Is Hockey Canada choosing a bunch of under 20 year-olds to play a sport? Yes? Well there had better be a ridiculous amount of over the top coverage! Canadians wouldn't have it any other way. And if these kids lose the game? Prepare for meltdown.
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Coffee Is Very Serious Business

We've mentioned before how anything Tim Hortons does is treated with great fanfare and attention and that trend continues.

Canadian coffee chain Tim Hortons is going to specialty coffee drinks. A coffee shop selling coffee? No big deal, right? WRONG. It is big news in Canada.

How big of a deal is it? The story was discussed on the national news. Not during the business section, not during the life section. No, it was reported during the news segment of the national news. On several networks including CTV and CBC. The Globe & Mail and the Toronto Star gave the story big coverage as well.

This story got so much attention across Canada that you would have thought Celine Dion and Justin Bieber were taking a canoe guided by beavers to a maple syrup factory. Okay... that's pushing the stereotypes a bit. But you get the point.

Also, we're back! =)

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Do you have your own unique way of spotting Canadians? If you'd like to share it with us, please contact us by email. We're always looking for new tips!