How to Spot a Canadian

Tracking down Canadians one toque at a time.

About this Site...

Canadians are a tricky people to distinguish. They are often able to blend into a society and appear to be American, British, French or any other number of nationalities. This site will provide you with some tips and tricks to help you recognize a Canadian no matter where you are.

 

This site is for entertainment purposes only. "How to Spot a Canadian" is filled with humour, satire, hyperbole, parody and sarcasm. All statements here should be taken with a grain of salt or a bottle of maple syrup, whatever the case may be.

Their Summer Lasts About 10 Minutes

If you were ever going to rank oxymorons in terms of relevance, "Canadian summer" would be at the top of your list.

Everyone knows that Canadian winters are cold. It's not uncommon to see your breath turn into ice the moment it leaves your mouth. Cold and Canada are synonymous, everyone knows that. However, what you may not know about Canada is that summers there last about 10 minutes. Depending on what part of the country you're looking at, sometimes if you blink for too long, you'll miss the entire season.

A good way to spot a Canadian is to tell them that summer lasts three months. If they instantly turn into a confused, stuttering mess, you'll know that they are a Canadian.

In Canada summer realistically lasts about a month. And that's in a good year. This year Toronto had about one week of summer weather. It's hot during the summer, but the heat doesn't normally last long enough to give the average Canadian a chance to climb out of the three parkas they've been wearing for the last eleven months.

However, don't think that the short summer means there is nine months of spring and fall either, because that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Fall and spring don't exist in Canada. They are simply called "early winter" and "late winter." In these two seasons it's still cold, just not cold enough to build an igloo in the middle of a downtown street. It is however cold enough that vistors to Canada think Canadians live in some weird hemisphere and that winter takes place at during different months there.

Winter in Canada, as has already been discussed, is cold enough that only the heartiest Canadians survive it each year. Bagged milk has been known to freeze solid for several months and beavers relocate their dams into the local Tim Hortons during the winter months.

In case you're wondering, summer in Canada is already over.
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23 comments:

  1. Niqi said...
     

    Toronto is not ALL of Canada you know - here in BC we had a very LONG summer - mixed with lots of thunderstorms and fires. LOL

  2. Meaghan said...
     

    summer just started here in Winnipeg last week. otherwise its been raining and cold. If we're lucky it'll last into next week.

  3. Andi said...
     

    Here in Calgary we have 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction!

  4. nonamedufus said...
     

    You spoke too soon. Summer's finally arrived. I know it's the first week of September but let's take what we can get, eh?

  5. Anonymous said...
     

    In Calgary you have sparodic moments during the day of summer. sometime they happen for a few minutes sometiems a few hours adn it is possible to catch this glimps of summer through any month of the year. yes even January.

  6. Jenn Jilks said...
     

    It has been a beautiful summer. Climate change has affected the entire world. But, My Muskoka has been a good place to be.

  7. hiSunglasses Coupons said...
     

    That's sad, they have no time to bask in the sun while drinking a mojito and just chill out.

  8. Anonymous said...
     

    However wrote this is not Canadian and does not know Canadians.:P

  9. CFS said...
     

    Yes I wish summer would last a little longer, Here in the west we had a hot June and July last year. And so far this year, March April May have been nicer than previous years, with this will bring lots of fires and probably drought for farmers.

  10. Anonymous said...
     

    actually in toronto here we had like a full 2 months of summer for last year at least. its only been a lot more inconsistent for this year with so much rain and wind lately... not all of canada experience only a week of summer..unless its the territories up north and the maritimes provinces youre talking about...

  11. luxury hotels in paris said...
     

    I have expected it be a bit more longer.And its really very sad.

  12. tower hotel london said...
     

    Nice posting. Thanks for sharing such a nice article. Liked the post. keep it up.

  13. Teagan said...
     

    I live in Southern AB, We usually have all 4 seasons.Winter is ofcourse the longest which gets to about -40 c where I live. In summer it usually lasts 3 months but this summer june and july was raining so much I didnt consider it summer at all. Summer can get to +40 but usually stays at +25. Alberta weather is very unpredictable! Sunny one day, snowing the next!

  14. Canadian Coupons said...
     

    hehe

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  16. Anonymous said...
     

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  22. Travel Insurance said...
     

    Try living in BC, we get 8 months of rain and 4 months of sun at best. This summer was a great one though.

  23. Kassy said...
     

    This year in Sudbury, Ont. it was freakin' hot out all June and July. And in August it would be mild out.

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