How to Spot a Canadian

Tracking down Canadians one toque at a time.

About this Site...

Canadians are a tricky people to distinguish. They are often able to blend into a society and appear to be American, British, French or any other number of nationalities. This site will provide you with some tips and tricks to help you recognize a Canadian no matter where you are.


This site is for entertainment purposes only. "How to Spot a Canadian" is filled with humour, satire, hyperbole, parody and sarcasm. All statements here should be taken with a grain of salt or a bottle of maple syrup, whatever the case may be.

They Want To Be Their Own Country

Canadians are a very proud people. They show their pride quietly, but they are still very proud. And while they are very proud of being Canadian, they are also quite proud of themselves and their own accomplishments.

That's probably why so many of them want to form their own countries.

The most famous of these movements to leave Canada and form an independent nation is Quebec. It seems like Quebec has wanted to leave Canada since the minute Canada was formed. In fact, when Canada created a new constitution in 1982, Quebec refused to sign it. They still have not signed.

There are numerous, significant reasons for Quebec wanting to separate from the rest of Canada. Most of these reasons are far too complex to be discussed on a humour website. It just wouldn't seem right for a complex discussion on Quebec sovereignty to take place here, beside conversations on Canadian Tire money, chocolate, Tim Hortons and Nickelback.

Of course, Quebec is not the only part of Canada that wants to separate from the rest of the nation. Alberta, the West, Newfoundland and the East have wanted out at times as well.

It seems that there is something distinctly Canadian about wanting to leave Canada.

That is the great irony of Canada: People are proud of the nation, but they think they could do better on their own.

Of course, this love for separation doesn't stop with provinces wanting to leave Canada. No, some cities have actually wanted to leave provinces. Most famously there has been a movement to form a Province of Toronto. This movement even has its own website, which certainly makes it legitimate. Once you spend the money to buy a domain name, you're serious.

Maybe Toronto realised that the rest of the country hates it and decided to leave. Could a movement to form a new Nation of Toronto be far behind?

The bottom line is that Canadians are so proud of themselves that they want to run their own lives. They don't want to be told what to do by anyone. They want their own countries.

A good way to identify a Canadian is to place the suspected Canadian in a group of people. If that person is Canadian, he or she will quickly begin to negotiate their way out of the group. Of course, they won't use violence. That's not Canadian.

While many people want to separate from Canada, they want to do it the Canadian way: through negotiation and compromise, rather than armed combat. Perhaps this similar way of doing things is what keeps Canada united after all.

Once your suspected Canadian has successfully managed to leave the group, they will likely head off to buy beer. Then you can be certain the person is a Canadian.

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  1. freetheunicorns said...

    I would be more than happy to give Nickelback their own anything, then blow it up.

    Being a Torontonian, I did know other parts of the country hate us. I didn't know about the Province of Toronto thing though. Interesting. Stupid, but interesting.

  2. nonamedufus said...

    Yep, ya got my vote. Nickleback can separate anytime...or move to Nunavut. Or maybe Toronto would like to move to Nunavut? (and just for the record: How to spot a Canadian? They allow themselves to be feel guilty about not visiting your website!)

  3. ettarose said...

    I am not Canadian, but I have a friend who is and we non Canadians feel guilty for never visiting this site. I hang my head in shame. Oh I see we are looking eye to eye. Does this, can this mean you have not been to see me? Oh but aren't we silly to have missed each other? Great blog!

  4. The Queen said...

    I too, hang my head in shame.. we Americans don't mean to be snooty about visiting other country's blogs.. it's just we are... what can I say.

    and,, I'm thinking I want to move to Canada...that is if the United STates Government,, gives me permission.. You know how they are..

    Now.. I must raise my hand,, because I need permission to pee.. really bad... hope they rush the paper work through..

  5. Maureen said...

    Ha! Well, we would certainly not seperate; being Manitoban, we are stuck in the middle! BTW, today is Manitoba Day! Whoo Hoo!

  6. said...

    There's a Manitoba Day?

    Wow... you learn something new every day!

  7. Pearson Airport Taxi said...

    I must raise my hand,, because I need permission to pee.. really bad... hope they rush the paper work through.

  8. Anonymous said...

    hahaha you made lol

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