How to Spot a Canadian

Tracking down Canadians one toque at a time.

About this Site...

Canadians are a tricky people to distinguish. They are often able to blend into a society and appear to be American, British, French or any other number of nationalities. This site will provide you with some tips and tricks to help you recognize a Canadian no matter where you are.

 

This site is for entertainment purposes only. "How to Spot a Canadian" is filled with humour, satire, hyperbole, parody and sarcasm. All statements here should be taken with a grain of salt or a bottle of maple syrup, whatever the case may be.

Their Cultural Dishes Could Easily Kill You

One of the first things you notice when going to a different country is the food that they eat. In most major cities you will find Indian restaurants and Chinese restaurants and Italian restaurants and many other types of restaurants. You rarely find a Canadian restaurant. In fact, it's possible that such thing does not exist.

Therefore, many people would assume that there is no such thing as Canadian food. Due to the country's close relationship with the United States the two countries share many foods. (Contrary to popular opinion, apple pie and hot dogs are quite popular in Canada as well.)

But there is such thing as Canadian food, and we're not just talking about Tim Hortons. However, much like Canada itself, popular Canadian food is more of a combination of different foods than original creations. There is no typical "Canadian meal" which is probably why there are no Canadian restaurants. Canadian food also differs greatly across the country.

For a nation that is known for being outdoorsy, rugged and athletic, a lot of Canadian food is strangely unhealthy.

First, starting on the west coast of Canada, you will find Nanaimo bars. Named after a city on Vancouver Island, these chocolate squares filled with custard are absolutely delicious.

Staying with sweet food, you will find the the beaver tail. Beaver tails are fried dough topped with a variety of sweet toppings. Again, they are delicious, and they are also quite bad for you. One of Canada's favourite foreign politicians, Barack Obama, recently stopped for one while visiting Ottawa.

Another great Canadian sweet is the butter tart. Reportedly the first Prime Minister of Canada, Sir John A. Macdonald, called butter tarts his favourite treat.

Switching away from sweets, one of Canada's best known exports is Kraft Dinner. A favourite of university students and anyone with limited cooking ability, this macaroni and cheese dish is definitely a Canadian treasure. Yes, it's available all around the world, but Canadians will always consider this low budget meal their own. There's something about incredibly orange powered cheese that Canucks love.

Speaking of cheese, one cannot discuss Canadian cuisine without mentioning poutine. Along with Montreal smoked meat, poutine defines the province of Quebec.

You would think that fries coated in cheese curds and gravy would be disgusting, but you would be wrong. You would also think that this meal would be terrible for your health. In that case you would be right. As started earlier, Canadian food is not good for you. At all. Tough Canadian bodies are able to withstand things like fried dough and fries with cheese and gravy. Average non-Canadians are not.

If you're trying to spot a Canadian give them some poutine followed by a beaver tail. A real Canadian will devour the meal. A non-Canadian will likely have a heart attack, so it is good to have emergency response personnel on the scene for this test.

An alternate method is to give the suspected Canadian some beer. A true Canadian will be able to knock back a two-four without flinching. The previously mentioned emergency response team could once again come in handy here.
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14 comments:

  1. Darcie Springall - Humber College Journalism student said...
     

    I always forget Kraft Dinner is Canadian! This website describes me perfectly. I am the most Canadian girl ever, apparently!

  2. gilliebean said...
     

    I grew up on Kraft Dinner. Yum! And Lipton Noodles.

    BUT!! You dudes totally travelled the country and stopped in Quebec! I don't know about the Maritime provinces but what about Newfoundland's Fish 'n' Brewis!? It's awesome and a heart-attack-in-a-bowl!

  3. HowToSpotACanadian.ca said...
     

    You're right.
    The problem is that I don't really know any east coast food.
    Fish 'n' Brewis does sound good.

  4. Venom said...
     

    They dont' have butter tarts everywhere? Pity.

  5. freetheunicorns said...
     

    Poutine is probably one of the greatest things to come out of our great country. I'm actually quite surprised American's don't love it. I mean fries, gravy and cheese are things they eat plenty of, and combining them into a pile of deliciousness makes them even better.

  6. Dawn said...
     

    I don't really know any east coast food

    What about donairs? I know you can often find them at pizza & pita shops around the country, but they were created in Halifax.

    Also, we need all those fatty foods to keep us warm during our long, cold winters! ;)

  7. HowToSpotACanadian.ca said...
     

    I had no idea donairs were from Halifax!

  8. debe said...
     

    You forgot the Canadian classics -- back bacon, Bloody Caesar and Brown Cows....guess you are right everything Canadian is bad for you (or alcohol, eh?)

  9. Nanny Goats In Panties said...
     

    I don't think there's anything better than "incredibly orange powered cheese".

  10. gilliebean said...
     

    HowtospotaCanadian.ca,

    You need to schedule a Maritime / Newfoundland road trip SOON!! ;)

  11. HowToSpotACanadian.ca said...
     

    I know!
    I've always wanted to go there, but never have.

  12. please come to the maritimes <3 said...
     

    how about maple syrup? fiddleheads? tourtiere?

    and you didn't mention lobster? here in n.b. we get it right off the pier. no melted butter required - just some pliers.

  13. Elizabeth said...
     

    Love Donairs (Halifax) and rappie pie (The French Shore) and Palomine Bar (Ganongs)

  14. Brendan said...
     

    What about the legendary burger of white spot in B.C everyone in that province including me grew up on the heavenly burger and Triple O sauce (mayo and red relish plus a few other things)

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