How to Spot a Canadian

Tracking down Canadians one toque at a time.

About this Site...

Canadians are a tricky people to distinguish. They are often able to blend into a society and appear to be American, British, French or any other number of nationalities. This site will provide you with some tips and tricks to help you recognize a Canadian no matter where you are.

 

This site is for entertainment purposes only. "How to Spot a Canadian" is filled with humour, satire, hyperbole, parody and sarcasm. All statements here should be taken with a grain of salt or a bottle of maple syrup, whatever the case may be.

Minus 10 isn't cold (and it's measured in Celsius)

The fact that Canada is cold is a well-known fact. But non-Canadians don't truly understand how cold it really is. Until you've stepped outside in February and your breath is not only visible but turning into a solid, you just don't understand.

The remarkable thing about Canadians is that it's never too cold to do anything. In the coldest, darkest, nuclear winter-like days you'll find Canadians outside skating, playing hockey and chasing beavers. Maybe the free health care gives Canadians the confidence to head outside in conditions that cause even thermometers to freeze. Maybe it's the stronger Canadian beer. Maybe it's the lack of oxygen in the Canadian Rockies. Whatever it is, Canadians are not afraid of the cold. They are, however, afraid of bears. I've made that mistake before and it didn't end well.

Since Canadians are so used to frigid temperatures, what's considered "cold" in the rest of the world is considered "mild" in Canada. (Note, what's considered "mild" in the rest of the world is considered "hot" in Canada. The rest of the world's "hot" is non-existent in Canada and is instead replaced by more cold.) It's common to hear a Canadian refer to a late December day as "nice outside" and a January snow storm as "not bad today."

Also, Canadian temperature is measured in Celsius, which makes temperatures appear even colder to those in the United States. Many are convinced that this is a Canadian trick, used to fool Americans into thinking that Canadians are much more adapted to cold than they actually are. As we've stated before, Canadians are a very tricky people.

One of the best ways to spot a Canadian is to throw them outside in relatively cold weather. If they complain about the cold they are not really Canadian. If they immediately start making snow angels and organizing shinny games, they are truly Canadian. If they suffer frostbite and need medical attention, it may actually be too cold outside and you should probably give them their clothes back. Then take them to a hospital. If they're Canadian the health coverage will be free (this is another great way to identify a Canadian which we will cover later.)

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous said...
     

    Anything over 0 Celsius is considered shorts weather by many. Though the toque will usually be handy, in case it gets cold. This is especially common at the end of winter, were most most have adapted to the cold quite well.

  2. HowToSpotACanadian.ca said...
     

    It is quite funny how we adapt.

    When the temperature hits 10 degrees for the first time in the fall I'm always saying "It's so cold."

    But, after a long winter, when it finally gets back up to 10 degrees, I'm running outside in my shorts talking about how warm it is.

  3. Anonymous said...
     

    Ha. Love it. So true.

    It was 5 degrees C (so 40F degrees). Definitely shorts weather and a nice day for a run.

  4. guerson said...
     

    the only thing not true is to say that is not real heat - Canada is no Scandinavia or England; summers can get really hot. I'm originally from Brazil and the first time my parents came to visit me it was july and so hot that they swore never to come back in the summer again.

  5. Anonymous said...
     

    That is so true. I live in Northern Canada and I've seen the summers hit +30 C and higher; with the winters hitting -40C and colder with the windsheild. Just this winter it hit -49 with the windshield. Now thats cold!

  6. Anonymous said...
     

    It's so true. After reading this, it made me smile. :) Thank you for sharing it.

  7. teagan said...
     

    Hahaha if I'm lucky enough to get 5 above in southern AB in winter..its consider hot and short wearing weather :)My mom will only give me rides to school if its -30 or more. Winter coats become a must! I would love to see one calfiornian kid come to my town for one winter and see if they could bear it :)

  8. Anonymous said...
     

    the best time to visit most parts of Canada is during the spring. its usually pretty mild all around.

  9. Anonymous said...
     

    "with the windshield?" Pretty sure you mean "with the wind chill" Haha!

  10. Anonymous said...
     

    Be like most "Canadians" int he Greater Toronto Area and wear a turban, or a hijab, those will keep yer head warm....

  11. Anonymous said...
     

    Most of this is not true. Yes, Canada is cold in the winter, but just like any other country with a temperate climate, Canada has a four season climate with cold winters, hot summers, and transitional seasons known as Spring and Fall.

    Next, most Canadians actually aren't used to the cold. 90% of our population lives in the southern part of the country, many of the places where it rarely even snows. The average winter temperature in most places is around 0 Degrees Celsius, and around 26 Degrees Celsius in the summer. It's 10-20 Celsius in the Spring and Fall.

  12. Anonymous said...
     

    I'm in Montreal right now, born and raised in Canada, and although it's true that 10°C feels warm in the Spring, the -20°C and lower we've had all week is INTENSE.. hard, and depressing. Keep your cats inside folks. Bring the strays to shelters. It's deadly cold outside.

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